so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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