I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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