You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I fill condoms, not promises.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
