every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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