Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
