i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
