im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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