I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
