why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
