Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
