I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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