My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
