Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
