Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
