I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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