he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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