I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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