Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
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So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
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He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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