ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did I show you my penis last night?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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