That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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