The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
