saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Dick very happy bro
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
