Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
