I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
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