help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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