oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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