K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize