We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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