We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
