Don't you send me to vm
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Houston, we have a squirter
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
