dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it