dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.