You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..