no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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