you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize