She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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