don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
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He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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