I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
its liver damage thursday
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
