Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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