I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
