rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
