You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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