Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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