he puts the penis in happiness.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Randomize
