I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This beer is not sobering me up at all
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
