I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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