Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
