nut hugger
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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