i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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