This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
