you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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