i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
