I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
vagina is talking i cant
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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