When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
