I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize