capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
