I wish I could punch you in the face.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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