im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
