do herpes really smell.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
