What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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