I wish i was in the wii world.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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