i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize
