That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
