you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
